Smile! Not Too Young To Run or Not Too Young To Loot? The Proposal.

NOT TOO YOUNG TO LOOT: A MODEST PROPOSAL

I am a young Nigerian, with hope and vision. Like the past and present Nigerian leaders, I want to build Nigeria with bare hands and pocket the money allocated for such projects.


Oga, please, allow me to rule the country for just 24hours, and I promise never to beg you for any favour till I die. I promise to loot our treasury within the first six hours of my governance.

Chairman, Honourable, Senator, Your Excellency Sir/Madam,  I am like your son(s), help me save my generations unborn. Believe me, so many of us want to be like you. Walahi, just as you, we have nothing to offer the country. Our only concern is that you the old ones have remained in the offices and continues to shut out the door on us. As If not satisfied, whenever you fall sick, you refuse to die. If you mistakenly die, your position is replaced by someone we don't even know! Haba.

Oga Sir/Madam, have mercy on us, the Nigerian Youth. Our girlfriends are not happy with us at all.

We can't feed ourselves, talk less of extending alms and other goodwill to them. Because of your habits, they're mad at us.

Sir/Madam, as if to make things worse, you now  invade our corporate social responsibilities by flirting with our guys and ladies; as Sugar Daddies and Mummies. Chai! There is God ooh!

We requested for #NotTooYoungToRule, you approved it, but increased the costs of purchasing forms for contestable positions. How can we pick forms for political offices at such exorbitant prices when we are not well fed? You even went as far as denying our SOWORE the right to participate in the upcoming Presidential debate, are you afraid of somebody or what? Chai, you elders are very wise oh! May your wisdom not kill you all one day, Amen.

Daddy, Mummy, in Kogi State where I come from, everything is working well. The situation there is better than the progress in Nigeria as a whole. Although, the Governor claims to be a Youth, but he is more determined than you, to use his youthful age and agility to build the state completely. In fact, he has vowed that he will no longer pay even the half salaries he used to pay. He said that is the punishment for Kogi workers for their treason able offences of unnecessary complaints and backbiting! What else do you want to hear about the progress of my beloved Kogi State? I'm sure you're aware that Masquerades and Touts feed better than civil servants and Students respectively across the State. If you're a masquerade, you will automatically be entitled to a Government largesse of a Ford or Prado Jeep! Ewo! When I visited home recently, I saw most of my childhood friends parading themselves as Masquerades. They said it is more lucrative than being a Pastor or Imam in Kogi State. I had requested to join them, but they said I am not qualified. I asked why? They said because, I speak too many big big grammar. I became disappointed in myself.

My Leader Sir/Madam, we the Youth want to take over. Please, help us. Be nice for once! Pity us abeg. We want stomach infrastructure too. Those of us schooling in tertiary institutions across the country know and see how our SUG Representatives do represent their stomachs and bank accounts. They too have bloated stomachs and fat necks compared to other students. I know many of them in my University. They call themselves Stakeholders, Comrades and Aluta Jargons. All they want is Money, Food and Beer. Provide it for them, they will shout your till you go deaf. And, on election day, they will be in their houses or hostels sleeping and snoring while the real and responsible students go to vote. But, by then, the harm has been done. They might have succeeded in convincing and confusing most of these responsible voters with their shouts and other skills in favour of their candidates. Then, the voters will end up thumb printing on the most familiar names(s) on the ballot, thus, unknowingly doing the snoring maniacs a huge favour. That is the sad story of politics and Unionism across many Nigerian tertiary institutions. It shows how very much prepared we are to lead Nigeria!

Sir/Madam, we, Nigerian Youth are in solidarity with you all in Government. Don't mind some Nigerians Clamouring for a prosperous country. We know and accept the fact that Provision of Uninterrupted Power Supply, Good roads, Free Education, Job Creation, Good Health Care System, Portable water supply and other basic amenities are not the responsibilities of the Government. Please, give us the Authority and Power to rule, we the Youth will ensure that we continue wherever you may have stopped.

Your Excellency Sirs and Madame, we Nigerian Youth have learnt enough the arts of deceit, cheating, embezzlement, outright stealing, religious bigotry, Nepotism and other negative isms. So, kindly test us with Power and we promise not to fail you just as Kogi State Champion is proving worthy of being a product of Nigerian Youth.

Finally, I am saying all these as a patriotic Nigerian. If you continue to prevent we the Youth to take over Power, we may one day wake up to an all out revolution because the Youth are not too Young to LOOT!

May the sun rise tomorrow... 


Sincerely Yours,
Comrade Muhammed Adoke
Social Commentator and Author of the novel My Journey To Mother Iya. 
Principal of Centrists Mass Movement (C.M.M) 
Media Assistant at Northern Nigeria Initiative For Peace, Unity, and Development (Northernnipudev) 
Email: muhammedjamiuadoke@gmail.com